Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Why do people, even my own friends, hate(dislike) me so much?
I know I have always been different and not the average cookie cutter teenager. I'm not from this country, I was not raised like the kids in this country, I don't act like the kids in this country, I get teased for my accent, and I don't try to fit in. I know that it is easier for people to pick on me and dislike me just because I am not from here and happen to be a minority, I seem like easy prey. Olny I have thick skin and when people see that they are not affecting me as much and that I am just ignoring them, they get nastier. Whenever I get sick of dealing with their crap, I ignore them and it seems like they are mad at me because I am ignoring them. People automatically ume I'm the alcoholic european hooker, even my "friends" constantly call me a slut even though I don't act like one at school at all. It's kind of hurtful that the people I am close with treat me like that but I'm used to it so again I ignore it, just further alienating everyone. I always get good grades even though I don't try and mostly slack off, another thing that people have not liked int the past. I'm loud (often the loudest in the room) and I'm not afraid to speak my mind or defend myself, which I can see that some people may find obnoxious. I'm not a ***** unless someone provokes me first, and I never start an argument, though I'm often the one to end it. Many people have told me I am pretty, but I'm not intoxicatingly gorgeous or something that people may not like me for my looks. What I don't get is that people I don't talk to or barely know are to me or gossip about me like they actually know me. Am I hated because I am different, outspoken? It used to not bother me that much, but ever since the middle of the school year I have felt so much animosity towards me that it is starting to emotionally affect me and I really don't want to deal with it. I know that this is a hard question to answer because you don't really know me, but I just want some feedback. I can't talk to my friends about it because I am afraid I will show cracks and come off weak, giving opportunity for more haring, which is starting to get overwhelming. Thank you.
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