How do you overcome borderline personality disorder on your own?

I am 35 and been in therapy on and off... never seems to help much although it does get me through some crises that come up, but doesn't help me with my bigger issues that ruin all my relationships (I've already been divorced twice) Huge fear of abandonment that causes me to alternate between intense clinging to moodiness & pushing away is my biggest problem. Don't want to find a new therapist because my life has just gotten so complicated by all the drama I bring into it, I don't even want to try to explain it to someone new. I know I could just "stop" acting in the stupid ways that I do and I want desperately to change but don't know how. Any help for me?